Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
