U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
