Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
