Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
