Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
