I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
