This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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