KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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