so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
