I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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