you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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