I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like eating out sand paper
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
