A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i now understand why vodka
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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