he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
