i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
