Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
