just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
