i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think i have two assholes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
