I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
