He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
