why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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