We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
