he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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