it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
