Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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