where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
