please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
