"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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