we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
