I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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