Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
