This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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