the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
