my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
