I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
