NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
