Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
