the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
