it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
