I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
