Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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