It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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