I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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