it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
