one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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