Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
