I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
