I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
