Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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