Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
