absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
