i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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