ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
