so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
