Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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